*** RED DRESS JUNE 15TH***
May 18th – Military Hash
Listen up you F–Ken Homo Sapiens yes you are all Homos!! Here is the Operations Order 69-69-13 for the ANAL Military Hash .. If you are tired of all the lame ass city boy runs come to the mountains and be a real man or woman or man with female parts or a woman with man parts or a man who dresses like a woman .. DAMN this is difficult .. And yes the hares have given in to the new Denver DICKtator Ass Whisperer and moved it to Saturday just so you can all go do that work thing again on Monday.
Paragraph 1 Situation:
Enemy Forces: Park Rangers (Who will ticket you for dogs off leash if we are caught), Roaming Hares, Police, and Civilians yelling ADAM!!!!!!!
Friendly Forces: Denver Hash, Boulder Hash, Pikes Peak Hashers, Flat Lander Hash, Ft Collins Hash, Full Moon Hash, DIM, Durango Hash, Kimchi Hash, PMS Hashers and any other hashes or hashers in the area.
Paragraph 2 Mission: Hashers will show up at Dedisse by 1400hrs (2:00PM you morons) to participate in hare hunting activities on 18 May 13.
Paragraph 3 Execution: Commencing at 1400hrs hashers will meet somewhere in Dedisse From Every where …. get along C470 or I 70 West to the following instructions
Dieerections: for Dedisse Park Colorado get a map of Evergreen and look at it (if you cant follow these instructions you REALLY are a moron)
From I70 Take exit 252 Evergreen Park Way almost to the lake. On the right you will see the sign on the right. Turn in and look for hash marks as we are not sure where we will start in the park (If you hit the town of Evergreen you went too far ).
From C470 turn on the Morrison Exit and go through the town of Morrison. Keep driving straight at the lighty on the other side of town to Bear Creak Road (74) through Kittredge through Evergreen to the lake and continue right after the lake. As soon as you bear right you will see the sign on the left
Four legged Animals and kids are welcome but we will not “dilute” hash songs at the end. Just remember Wimps son sang Swing Low with hand gestures for his class when he was 7. Wimp was so proud.
Paragraph 4 Service Support: We have no idea about parking so car pool if possible. You will need WATER, sun screen, bug and Dry Stuff, rain gear, cold weather attire … who the heck knows, check the weather and figure it out.. Hashers will donate (mandatory) $6 to keep the hares in the lap of luxury. Shag Bags are encouraged (end is outdoors) (trust the hares). Beer (PBR possible if Keeps it Up commits to this hash) and succulent military style dinners will be made by the Mess Kitchen or we may just have traditional hash food. Bring your own snake bite kit or Wimp will suck it for you even if you dont get bit.
Paragraph 5 Command and Communications:
Command Structure Major Asshole Ultrawimp, Sergeant Major Horses Ass Spermcrawler and Corporal (finally promoted) Prick Non Dairy Creamer.
Communications: All Communications personnel to include SOMEBODY and Low Life will post this on the phone/webs and all other communications devices upon receipt of this order. Failure to do so will result in sex with WIMP. Everyone else is to be shamed into showing up .. or you will be Tried and Convicted of AWOL and sentenced to SEX with WIMP.
Weather: expected to be cold, rainy, snow, hot, or dry with a possibility of wind unless it doesn’t. Guaranteed to be 10 degrees cooler than the front range with a nice shady trail and ending location!!!! Optional Poison Ivy might be available on demand. OUT DOOR ENDING!!!
June 1st: Mad Max
ON ON DECK:
The Lady in Red recently left our worldly plane and is now forever on trail with G. We will be taking donations at the pre-lube for the fund set up for her foster kids.
WHAT: Denver Red Dress Run
WHEN: Saturday June 15th 1:00 (One O’clock in the Afternoon)
PRE-LUBE: 12:00 (Noon), Charlie’s: 900 E Colfax Ave Denver, CO 80218,
Charlie’s will have a tent set up in the parking lot and drink specials just for us… and a few hundred lesbian bikers. Is there any other way to start a Red Dress?
WHERE: Charlie’s: 900 E Colfax Ave Denver, CO 80218
HARES: God F*ck The Queen, 13th Floor Whore, Ass Whisperer, Blue Clit, and Drips R Us.
BRING: Red Dress, Hash Cash $15, Your ID, Thirst for Beer, a donation for The Lady in Red’s foster kids.
TRAIL: Live A to B
DOGS’/STROLLERS: Nope, not on this trail. Over 21 only, no youngsters or pooches.
PARKING: The trail will start on Colfax and end near LoDo so park accordingly. There’s free buses on the 16th Street Mall.
SHAGWAGON: There will NOT be a shagwagon so don’t bring a shagbag. If you bring a shagbag don’t ask me where’s a good place to keep it. When you ask me where’s a good place to put your shagbag, you will have to give me a dollar.
We will be drinking in bars that will check your ID, SO BRING YOUR ID. Over 21 only on this trail, no youngsters.
Other Hash Info
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