We Set The Standard For Bad Behavior
Subject: MILITARY Hash ORDER 69-69-14
Listen up you F–Ken Homo Sapiens yes you are all Homos!! Here is the Operations Order 69-69-14 for the ANAL Military Hash .. If you are tired of all the lame ass city boy runs come to the mountains and be a real man or woman or man with female parts or a woman with man parts or a man who dresses like a woman .. DAMN this is difficult .. This TRAIL will be on SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY not the lame ass weak kneed (not you Knees Up) saturday ones you are used to. Get a grip and pit your BIG BOY or GIRL Panties on and show up on SUNDAY!!!!
Paragraph 1 Situation:
Enemy Forces: Park Rangers (Who will ticket you for dogs off leash if we are caught), Roaming Hares, Police, and Civilians yelling ADAM!!!!!!!
Friendly Forces: Denver Hash, Boulder Hash, Pikes Peak Hashers, Flat Lander Hash, Ft Collins Hash, Full Moon Hash, DIM, Durango Hash, Kimchi Hash, PMS Hashers, Wednesday pick up hash and any other hashes or hashers in the area.
Paragraph 2 Mission: Hashers will show up at Morrison Park by 1400hrs (2:00PM you morons) to participate in hare hunting activities on 24 Aug 14.
Paragraph 3 Execution: Commencing at 1400hrs hashers will meet somewhere in Morrison CO From Every where …. get along C470
Dieerections: for Morrison Park Colorado get a map of Morrison and look at it (if you cant follow these instructions you REALLY are a moron)
Located approximately 16 miles west of Denver, Directions: C‐470 to Morrison exit; west through the town of Morrison
to the third traffic light (Highway8); turn left, go 2 blocks, and turn right on Bear Creek Avenue; go 1 block and take a left
onto Union Avenue; continue ¼ mile to the park.
On before for those who cannot get enough is at the Red Rocks Grill in the middle of Morrison at 1300 hours (OK1:00PM you idiots). There is TOP SECRET parking behind the Grill so SHHHHHH don’t tell anyone
Four legged Animals and kids are welcome but we will not “dilute” has songs at the end. Only 4 legged animals that can walk are allowed .. if you must carry it in your bung hole .. leave it at home.
Paragraph 4 Service Support: We have no idea about parking so car pool if possible. You will need WATER, sun screen, bug and Dry Stuff, rain gear, cold weather attire … who the heck knows, check the weather and figure it out..Hashers will donate (mandatory) $6 to keep the hares in the lap of luxury. Shag Bags are encouraged (end is outdoors) (trust the hares). Beer (PBR possible if Keeps it Up commits to this hash) and succulent military style dinners will be made by the Mess Kitchen or we may just have traditional hash food. Bring your own snake bite kit or Wimp will suck it for you even if you don’t get bit.
Paragraph 5 Command and Communications:
Command Structure Major Asshole Ultrawimp, Sergeant Major Horses Ass Spermcrawler and Corporal (finally promoted) Prick Non Dairy Creamer.
Communications: All Communications personnel to include SOMEBODY will post this on the webs and all other communications devices upon receipt of this order. Failure to do so will result in sex with WIMP. Everyone else is to be shamed into showing up .. or you will be Tried and Convicted of AWOL and sentenced to SEX with WIMP.Weather:
expected to be cold, rainy, snow, hot, or dry with a possibility of wind unless it doesn’t. Guaranteed to be 10 degrees cooler than the front range with a nice shady trail and ending location!!!! Optional Poison Ivy might be available on demand. OUTDOOR ENDING!!!
High Altitude Hash
Where: St. Mary’s Glacier
Directions – take I-70 west to Fall River Road (Exit 238), which is the first exit west of Idaho Springs. Drive up Fall River Road about 11.5 miles to the parking lot on the west side of the road.
Meet in the parking lot just below the St. Mary’s Glacier trail head (Head, who said head). Parking is $5, so car-pool.
When September 7th, 2:00
Other Hash Info
If you are looking for all the Colorado Hashes check out the Colorado Hash Facebook Page. Want to know when we are drinking and running? Check out the Hare Schedule or the Denver Hash Facebook Page. Want to be on the EMAIL DISTRIBUTION? Click here For all you kids, we’re on the Twitter DENH3.